"Chin up"

I'm going to Mexico.
I'm forgetting all the stupidstupidstupid things I've done.
I'm leaving my problems behind.
I'm not looking back.
I'm never going to feel like this again.
I'm going to be happy.

Puerto Vallarta... fix me please.

-SAM

Someone fix me please.

There's something kind of magical about 3am. I remember over the summer I would stay up all night wandering aimlessly around the internet. Becoming inspired or thought-provoked by simple things. I have come to despise social networking. Which if you knew me less than a year ago you would know that the internet is my favorite place to be. But I have become bothered not only by the petty and meaningless problems that everyone else shares, but also by my own.

I ANNOY myself.

Like, it's one thing to be embarrassed by something you did and said, like most shy people are. But I am genuinely annoyed by my thoughts and the way I shove my problems onto everyone else. I have no clue how to deal with my problems so instead of mulling them over for a while I do whatever I instantly can to figure out how to fix things. FIXING THINGS. I have no purpose to my life if I feel like I'm not FIXING something. If something is not working I have to FIX it and make it BETTER. I have to MAKE it work.

Again, with the things out of my control. Putting my nose into everyone else's business.

It's so ANNOYING. I stopped complaining a while back about what other people were doing. I am the only person that can make me miserable. I am the only person that can make me sad. I am the only person that can make me happy. So maybe instead of fixing everything else: I should just fix myself?

-SAM