There's something kind of magical about 3am. I remember over the summer I would stay up all night wandering aimlessly around the internet. Becoming inspired or thought-provoked by simple things. I have come to despise social networking. Which if you knew me less than a year ago you would know that the internet is my favorite place to be. But I have become bothered not only by the petty and meaningless problems that everyone else shares, but also by my own.
I ANNOY myself.
Like, it's one thing to be embarrassed by something you did and said, like most shy people are. But I am genuinely annoyed by my thoughts and the way I shove my problems onto everyone else. I have no clue how to deal with my problems so instead of mulling them over for a while I do whatever I instantly can to figure out how to fix things. FIXING THINGS. I have no purpose to my life if I feel like I'm not FIXING something. If something is not working I have to FIX it and make it BETTER. I have to MAKE it work.
Again, with the things out of my control. Putting my nose into everyone else's business.
It's so ANNOYING. I stopped complaining a while back about what other people were doing. I am the only person that can make me miserable. I am the only person that can make me sad. I am the only person that can make me happy. So maybe instead of fixing everything else: I should just fix myself?