"Chin up"

I'm going to Mexico.
I'm forgetting all the stupidstupidstupid things I've done.
I'm leaving my problems behind.
I'm not looking back.
I'm never going to feel like this again.
I'm going to be happy.

Puerto Vallarta... fix me please.


Someone fix me please.

There's something kind of magical about 3am. I remember over the summer I would stay up all night wandering aimlessly around the internet. Becoming inspired or thought-provoked by simple things. I have come to despise social networking. Which if you knew me less than a year ago you would know that the internet is my favorite place to be. But I have become bothered not only by the petty and meaningless problems that everyone else shares, but also by my own.

I ANNOY myself.

Like, it's one thing to be embarrassed by something you did and said, like most shy people are. But I am genuinely annoyed by my thoughts and the way I shove my problems onto everyone else. I have no clue how to deal with my problems so instead of mulling them over for a while I do whatever I instantly can to figure out how to fix things. FIXING THINGS. I have no purpose to my life if I feel like I'm not FIXING something. If something is not working I have to FIX it and make it BETTER. I have to MAKE it work.

Again, with the things out of my control. Putting my nose into everyone else's business.

It's so ANNOYING. I stopped complaining a while back about what other people were doing. I am the only person that can make me miserable. I am the only person that can make me sad. I am the only person that can make me happy. So maybe instead of fixing everything else: I should just fix myself?



Weak things become Strong

It's one thing to be mad at other people, but I think that being upset with yourself is a whole new level of unhappiness. I am not in any way shape or form saying that I am a humble and kind-hearted person, because I definitely am not; however, I think my biggest problem that I face is blaming myself for things that are out of my control. Things that I could easily be mad at others for I tend to kill myself for. In most personalities, I believe that it's easier to see your own flaws than the flaws of others. But sometimes, forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things to do.
I am so very, very grateful to Anela for reminding me of my "Scripture of the Year" (The Book of Mormon) that I chose for myself to use as a guide.

ETHER 12:27
And if men come unto me 
I will show unto them their weakness. 
I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; 
and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; 
for if they humble themselves before me, 
and have faith in me,
then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

So yes. I am going to get "down". I am no where near perfect. I don't even have perfect faith most of the time. But I do have a perfect knowledge that weak things will become strong when I come unto Christ. I am not happy with myself, but at the very least I can try my best to be a better person with the help of the Lord. I have made plenty of terrible decisions in my life. Doesn't mean I have to be unhappy forever.



Here's to

Pointless internet-surfing
True love
Chocolate Peanut Butter Malt Balls
Being a teenager
Good health
Down-feather blankets
A job
and Radiohead.



Who's that?

I know that it's been so long since I've updated my blog that ya'll are looking at your dashboards and wondering who the heck I am.

In other news, I had a great Christmas. Seriously. My friends and family are the best in the world. I can't wait to hit the slopes though!

...that is, if it snows. -____-



This is madness.

I have so much going on this week. I think I'm going to lose my mind.
The thing that would probably make me happiest would be to make a pie. But...

I don't have time.
For anything.
I don't have time to do my hair.
Or speak proper sentences.
I get most of my sleep covered during health,
and math.




I said yes! (DOS)

Somebody by the name of Sam got asked to Homecoming by the coolest person on the planet.
I went into math, and about 5-10 minutes through the class, my teacher flips up the projector screen and BOOM. There it was! It was very sweet, and I was not expecting it. I have yet to "answer" him. I shall let you all know how that goes shortly. :)

But anyways. I already have my dress and everything ready. (Of course.) Now we just have to wait til next Saturday!

And speaking of Homecoming, I got nominated as the Junior Homecoming Princess!

DEFINITELY not expecting that one. We'll see if I actually make it to the "finals". I think this whole thing is kinda silly to be honest. But God knows I love the attention. I love all my funny friends that nominated me. So yeah. Cameron is thee coolest ever. I don't know what I would do without him.


Just a bit dramatic.

Remember when I was all like,


Turns out, I did a lot better than I thought.
In fact, you are now reading the blog of the newest member of the Caleb Chapman Ska band- Lo-Fi Riot!
I'm so excited to get going and meet everyone in the band and AHHHH! It is all very exciting to me. As a part of being in the group, I also get the opportunity to tour Mexico in March of 2012. I am so ridiculously excited. Now I just need a job....
(Easier said than done.)

Well. Yep. Life is good. I am no longer stressed. Jazz band is the bomb. Amen.