3.02.2010

"Who am I?"

Ah. The infamous question- "Who am I?". I have realized that this part of my life has really made me start to question my values and beliefs. Not question in a way where I am unsure, but I have been thinking harder about why I do, what I do. There are things I know. 
Things I know: 
-I have a deeper appreciation for everything. It might take me a little while to see the value in someone or something, but its definitely there. Some people have a hard time seeing that, and I see that as one of my special traits. I do have my issues with a couple people who are making things difficult for me in my life right now, but I can still step back and see that at least some of what they do and say is good. Everyone is good- everyone was made in God's image.
-I am a realist. I appreciate optimists, in fact most of my friends are optimists. Pessimists make me a little sad, but hey. At the end of the day, it is what it is. Tomorrow is going to be different. I can't really tell if it's good or not, but I know that that depends on me. And frankly, I am perfectly okay with not knowing the end. I just got to get there one page at a time.
-There is nobody else out there that is like me. As dumb as that sounds, it's true. I mean, we've all been told that we are 'special', but once you honestly realize it, so many things make much more sense to you. That idea that there was no one who would perfectly understand everything about me used to bug me, but it wasn't until recently that I finally realized it was just because there is no else just like me. And I kinda like that. That's why people have friends- to find a few of their own traits in other people. 
-I like experiencing things. One time I snuck into my mom's journal, and the entry I read had an excerpt about me. It was the day after I had gotten braces, and she was saying how shocked she was with me. My mouth was extremely sore, and my mom asked "So I guess you aren't so excited about getting braces anymore?" and I told her that I was still excited. When I had broken my arm in 6th grade, the same thing. Reading glasses at 7 years old, same thing. I like having trials. And I want to experience everything. Good and Bad- what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? 
-I am a Daughter of God. I was sent to my family, on May 3rd 1995, for a divine role to act as a daughter of God. I was sent here for a good purpose. I guess sometimes my goal isn't always clear, I can't always see if everything I'm doing is actually benefiting anyone: but I know that I'm doing what He wants me to do. He knows what he needs me for, so I'm going to put on the yoke of Christ and just do it.

And that's a small scale of who I am. I know that I'm no where near to knowing every exact detail of who I am, but this is all that's important right now. This is me. So... yeah :)

Day 12 of the 'diet': It's actually not that hard! I have to step it up a notch now... *dang it* but that's okay. I'm up for a good challenge! Haven't stepped on the scale for a couple days, but whatever. I'm going to the gym in a bit here, so YAY for losing weight! :D

-SAM

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