Zombie Apocalypse

FACEBOOK: "Go to your profile. The top five people on your friends list to the left are who you get to be on your side when zombies attack. How screwed are you?"

1. Jayda Beckstead

(Ginger on the right)

Plays soccer- fast runner, quick thinking, could literally "kick" the crap out of a zombie (no bullets necessary.)
Short- fits into tight hiding places, could easily weave between
a herd of zombies without being affected.
Actress- could pull off acting like a zombie ("Shaun of the Dead", or "The Walking Dead" ep.4)

2. Natalie Davila

 

(The foxy brown one on the right)

Cheerleader- loud, showy, athletic, beautiful- if ever in need of the perfect distraction, just throw her out there.

Brown- easily disposable and quite edible if food rations need to be cut.

3. Cotton Fitzsimmons

(The sexy one on the right)

Sousaphonist- extremely ripped, could tear zombie limb from limb. Can consume large amounts of air- making for good endurance, or if necessary, under-water escape.

Attractive- his manliness is so distracting that the zombies would forget their obsession of flesh, and revert to craving his body only.

Owns "The Zombie Survival Guide"- what more do we need?!

4. Hyrum Carlile

Track Runner- the zombies will be eating his dust, they'll have no chance at eating flesh with track spikes through their faces, or a javelin speared through their kidneys. (Do zombies have kidneys?)

Great dancer- in the simplest of terms, his Dougie could wipe out a colony of zombies in one strike.

5. Samantha Brucia

Black Ops- spends hours preparing for the zombie apocalypse by playing this game. Her dedication and experience would be useful out on the field.

Screamo Interpretationist- Screamo would become our survival group's code. Like Navajo, except it's only zombies we have to worry about, not Japs.

Clumsy- easily disposable: gives 35 second buffer if being chased. (They'll be busy consuming her.)

Bring. It. On.

-SAM